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I said to her “If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff”. “Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked. “I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other wanker using my stuff”. She looked at me and said: “What makes you think I’d marry another wanker?”Sent my washing to the cleaners the other day with a note enclosed ‘use more soap powder on pants’. When the laundry came back there was another note attached ‘use more paper on arse’.I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party, so for a laugh they decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face? His wife went fucking mental when she looked in his cot!A man goes into the local corner deli. When the clerk, a very buxom young girl, asks if she can get him anything, he leans over and whispers “Is it true that you give hand jobs in the back room?” “Why yes,. Standing in just stockings and heels - especially without a corset - made me feel even more naked than completely undressed, a feeling I cannot clearly describe. To overcome that discomfort I moved towards the table with its cables, levers and handles, wondering how to lie down on it, although the leather stirrups at the top of their bright chrome poles told me which end was which. I lifted myself up and lay down on my back, shivering as the cool white plastic top touched my skin.A few minutes passed before the Doctor walked over and arranged me further down the table then began to palpate my upper and lower stomach before moving up to examine my breasts with strong yet surprisingly gentle fingers, all the while nodding in satisfaction.To Vanya she said, "Her breasts are fine, even better than I predicted. If you want to increase their size any more I would be happy to recommend silicone augmentation." Vanya merely nodded her head at this news.Various gland sites were checked and.
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